Abuse & Neglect.
Never ever treat anyone you love with either, or even worse, both.
It hurts.
Showing posts with label Thoughts and musings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Thoughts and musings. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Friday, June 06, 2008
Food for thought...
Sometimes it takes one to step out of one's current situation to see the big picture and what's really going on.
Yeah, i admit i was very narrow in my scope in terms of goals, observation and whatever else in the past, and still am right now.
But thinking things through and pondering on what i want to achieve out of my career, and my life, and also what is it that is meaningful to me in my life has sorta make me clearer. Okay, though not a lot, but still, a bit is better than nothing rite? Haha..
I suddenly also understand truly that having goals in life really give life a very meaningful purpose. And i also finally get what it means by a person with goals will be more successful than a person without. Because a person with no direction has no clear motivation to succeed either. Hmmm...
I also finally understood why my sec sch friend pf suddenly shot up to become the top scholar of my swiss, when we 2 were almost on par during sec 1 & 2. She had long term goals.. she told me she aspires to be a zoologist or a marine biologist when we were sec 1!! (That time i only think of results, that's the furthest man.)
In any case, I am really thankful for having friends around me who make me realise that, especially ahgong (who alr kan tou hong cheng long ago and taught me to see the big picture of things, tho it takes quite awhile la huh. =X). HAha! I must also thank NUS education which put me through rigorous readings of journals that i actually find non-fiction books readable for the first time (Cos i've alr gone through the worst!). And i also thank myself for choosing psychology as a major (lolx..), and being in FASS (ok, mayb tt's not much of a choice, heh.). Cos i never regretted taking it and it allows me to discover my interest in social science~
Because my first choice is actually biz, and I used to like numbers and enjoy doing accounts. Even during primary school, when the teacher asked, i told her i want to be a business woman. lol... (Cos back then i alr know i don't like being a conventional teacher, lawyer or doctor.) And still thought i'm going to be that until i entered m1 and uni, and after taking the marketing module i'm totally convinced that the business world is simply not for me. I definitely can't handle the strong competition and high levels of office politics in biz world. And for accounts and finance, suddenly they all seem boring to me. Though it is still fun and satisfying to solve maths problems and balancing accounts, i don't think i want to spend my whole life just dealing with numbers.
Am happy i finally have some direction to what i want. But how many people in this world get to do what they like as a career? Plus it's kinda little late for me to receive higher training for it since i've graduated. But then again, late is better than never rite? heh..
Wish me luck in job search!! :D
CiaoS~
PS: Hey people, can update your blogs? I'm so bored of reading the same thing lar.. haha...
Yeah, i admit i was very narrow in my scope in terms of goals, observation and whatever else in the past, and still am right now.
But thinking things through and pondering on what i want to achieve out of my career, and my life, and also what is it that is meaningful to me in my life has sorta make me clearer. Okay, though not a lot, but still, a bit is better than nothing rite? Haha..
I suddenly also understand truly that having goals in life really give life a very meaningful purpose. And i also finally get what it means by a person with goals will be more successful than a person without. Because a person with no direction has no clear motivation to succeed either. Hmmm...
I also finally understood why my sec sch friend pf suddenly shot up to become the top scholar of my swiss, when we 2 were almost on par during sec 1 & 2. She had long term goals.. she told me she aspires to be a zoologist or a marine biologist when we were sec 1!! (That time i only think of results, that's the furthest man.)
In any case, I am really thankful for having friends around me who make me realise that, especially ahgong (who alr kan tou hong cheng long ago and taught me to see the big picture of things, tho it takes quite awhile la huh. =X). HAha! I must also thank NUS education which put me through rigorous readings of journals that i actually find non-fiction books readable for the first time (Cos i've alr gone through the worst!). And i also thank myself for choosing psychology as a major (lolx..), and being in FASS (ok, mayb tt's not much of a choice, heh.). Cos i never regretted taking it and it allows me to discover my interest in social science~
Because my first choice is actually biz, and I used to like numbers and enjoy doing accounts. Even during primary school, when the teacher asked, i told her i want to be a business woman. lol... (Cos back then i alr know i don't like being a conventional teacher, lawyer or doctor.) And still thought i'm going to be that until i entered m1 and uni, and after taking the marketing module i'm totally convinced that the business world is simply not for me. I definitely can't handle the strong competition and high levels of office politics in biz world. And for accounts and finance, suddenly they all seem boring to me. Though it is still fun and satisfying to solve maths problems and balancing accounts, i don't think i want to spend my whole life just dealing with numbers.
Am happy i finally have some direction to what i want. But how many people in this world get to do what they like as a career? Plus it's kinda little late for me to receive higher training for it since i've graduated. But then again, late is better than never rite? heh..
Wish me luck in job search!! :D
CiaoS~
PS: Hey people, can update your blogs? I'm so bored of reading the same thing lar.. haha...
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Thoughts on flaws, criticisms and transparency...
Recent spate of events has set me thinking...
Why am i so prone to criticisms by others? Especially by friends, which is even worse.
Don't criticise others and you won't be criticise by others??
The thing is I usually don't criticise others at all, so why this critical treatment??
And its not because they are flawless or perfect sia.
But because i chose to keep quiet about it, not wanting to disturb the peaceful relationship.
But i just realised this "don't criticise others if you don't want to be criticised" theory don't work at all. If you don't criticise others, others would do that to you. And if you keep quiet and be nice to others, they would think they don't have as much flaws as you and that sorta give them the right to talk about you critically.
Treating others considerately may not equate to others giving you a similar treatment after all. So, why bother trying so hard to be so considerate, tactful and nice towards them when they don't even give a heck?
Defence! Why bear the insult?
When someone passed me a negative remark, i used to think "why bother to cover these flaws? After all, they are good friends already, and they probably have good intentions to change me for the better." Or when someone joked about my flaws, i used to think "it's okay, they are just kidding, no harm. Don't make a mountain out of a molehill".
But no, i realised if you keep quiet and don't defend yourself on the spot, others will think that you admit and agreed with them. That little little harm may thus accumulate to the mountain, when negative remarks and jokes occurs at higher frequency, at a greater level, and even to the point of hurtful insult. I sometimes wonder, what are they thinking? With increasing hurtful comments, are they trying to test my threshold of tolerance, or do they want to see my response when i reach that threshold? And recently that threshold has been greatly lowered, and if i do reach it, it's definitely not gonna be pretty.
And the part about their good intention? Nah... i realised (sadly) that most people criticise just so they can feel good about themselves, like putting others down while boosting their self-confidence or something. After all feeling good about oneself is the very most basic goal of every human, consciously or subconsciously (cited from ET's notes, thus not a sweeping statement). And also, if they really have good intentions, where's their good advice? Why only a truck full of criticisms but no suggestions or solutions to the problem?? Not only that, the tone of that person also tells a lot. Even a fool can differentiate between concern and plain mocking.
Transparency: Displaying too much of yourself?
Again, i used to think i really do have many flaws...while others seem to be flawless. Everyone has flaws. But perhaps, my main big flaw is that i'm super transparent to others that i don't really hide my unglam, my bad habits, and my whatever other flaws to others. While on the other hand, those seemingly "flawless others" are very good in hiding or "justifying" their own negative points. And because my flaws are known, others tend to up-play them, making them more salient to everyone else, including me, while they cover theirs well. For many years i foolishly believe in it, and that's probably why i lost confidence in myself along the way.
Yup, but a good number of events and some people has taught me not to reveal too much to another, esp flaws. And being nice is only for people who are nice to you. Being nice to someone who isn't to you is no longer called magnanimity, but now seen as foolishness, even to that same not nice someone whom you treat nicely.
Of course these are just my thoughts, and venting of my frustration. So there's no need to spark up a debate or anything. And it's not refering to a specific someone, but about a couple of events in general. May or may not apply to you, you be your own judge.
Why am i so prone to criticisms by others? Especially by friends, which is even worse.
Don't criticise others and you won't be criticise by others??
The thing is I usually don't criticise others at all, so why this critical treatment??
And its not because they are flawless or perfect sia.
But because i chose to keep quiet about it, not wanting to disturb the peaceful relationship.
But i just realised this "don't criticise others if you don't want to be criticised" theory don't work at all. If you don't criticise others, others would do that to you. And if you keep quiet and be nice to others, they would think they don't have as much flaws as you and that sorta give them the right to talk about you critically.
Treating others considerately may not equate to others giving you a similar treatment after all. So, why bother trying so hard to be so considerate, tactful and nice towards them when they don't even give a heck?
Defence! Why bear the insult?
When someone passed me a negative remark, i used to think "why bother to cover these flaws? After all, they are good friends already, and they probably have good intentions to change me for the better." Or when someone joked about my flaws, i used to think "it's okay, they are just kidding, no harm. Don't make a mountain out of a molehill".
But no, i realised if you keep quiet and don't defend yourself on the spot, others will think that you admit and agreed with them. That little little harm may thus accumulate to the mountain, when negative remarks and jokes occurs at higher frequency, at a greater level, and even to the point of hurtful insult. I sometimes wonder, what are they thinking? With increasing hurtful comments, are they trying to test my threshold of tolerance, or do they want to see my response when i reach that threshold? And recently that threshold has been greatly lowered, and if i do reach it, it's definitely not gonna be pretty.
And the part about their good intention? Nah... i realised (sadly) that most people criticise just so they can feel good about themselves, like putting others down while boosting their self-confidence or something. After all feeling good about oneself is the very most basic goal of every human, consciously or subconsciously (cited from ET's notes, thus not a sweeping statement). And also, if they really have good intentions, where's their good advice? Why only a truck full of criticisms but no suggestions or solutions to the problem?? Not only that, the tone of that person also tells a lot. Even a fool can differentiate between concern and plain mocking.
Transparency: Displaying too much of yourself?
Again, i used to think i really do have many flaws...while others seem to be flawless. Everyone has flaws. But perhaps, my main big flaw is that i'm super transparent to others that i don't really hide my unglam, my bad habits, and my whatever other flaws to others. While on the other hand, those seemingly "flawless others" are very good in hiding or "justifying" their own negative points. And because my flaws are known, others tend to up-play them, making them more salient to everyone else, including me, while they cover theirs well. For many years i foolishly believe in it, and that's probably why i lost confidence in myself along the way.
Yup, but a good number of events and some people has taught me not to reveal too much to another, esp flaws. And being nice is only for people who are nice to you. Being nice to someone who isn't to you is no longer called magnanimity, but now seen as foolishness, even to that same not nice someone whom you treat nicely.
Of course these are just my thoughts, and venting of my frustration. So there's no need to spark up a debate or anything. And it's not refering to a specific someone, but about a couple of events in general. May or may not apply to you, you be your own judge.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Take care of your health!!
I'm reminded of something today...
Health's important no matter what age you are
Be mindful of your health constantly
Life's precious
It can be so vulnerable sometimes
No one knows what may happen tomorrow
Do appreciate the people we have around us
I'm gonna hug my mom later.
Health's important no matter what age you are
Be mindful of your health constantly
Life's precious
It can be so vulnerable sometimes
No one knows what may happen tomorrow
Do appreciate the people we have around us
I'm gonna hug my mom later.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Euthanasia
Oh my god.. the poor french lady...
It's bad enough she contracted such a terrible incurable cancer...
Which disfigured her terribly...
Her kids got scared and actually ran away from her...
To lose your pretty looks, to lose your sense of smell, taste and sight, to be shunned away by the rest of the world is really devastating enough... And now her own kids got frightened of her as well... Sighs...
No wonder she pleads for euthanasia...
But hey, no matter how terrifying she looks, she's still their mom right... Wa lao... SOCIAL SUPPORT is important~!! SOCIAL SUPPORT!! Probably because of the unbearable pain, her pessimism of the disease, and also due to lack of social support... She killed herself (most probably, cos no details given) eventually...
Poor lady...
One probably needs lots of courage to continue living with a disease like hers...
It's bad enough she contracted such a terrible incurable cancer...
Which disfigured her terribly...
Her kids got scared and actually ran away from her...
To lose your pretty looks, to lose your sense of smell, taste and sight, to be shunned away by the rest of the world is really devastating enough... And now her own kids got frightened of her as well... Sighs...
No wonder she pleads for euthanasia...
But hey, no matter how terrifying she looks, she's still their mom right... Wa lao... SOCIAL SUPPORT is important~!! SOCIAL SUPPORT!! Probably because of the unbearable pain, her pessimism of the disease, and also due to lack of social support... She killed herself (most probably, cos no details given) eventually...
Poor lady...
One probably needs lots of courage to continue living with a disease like hers...
Double bombs
I just found out...
not just one... But BOTH of them were ....
Arrggghhhh... why like that??!?!!??! :'-(
Dashed hopes once more.. Guess i've to look elsewhere again~~
Sighs..
Haha~
not just one... But BOTH of them were ....
Arrggghhhh... why like that??!?!!??! :'-(
Dashed hopes once more.. Guess i've to look elsewhere again~~
Sighs..
Haha~
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Testimonial of CSC...
I think i'm beginning to like CSC better so far...
Though i can't tell for sure whether this positive feeling will maintain in future, this is what i'm feeling right now...
Ok, i can't say i joined the cca because i'm caring or kind or that i've the passion to help and care for the unfortunate... In fact i joined only because i don't have a cca and just nice WS's friend is in that committee so can jio me in.. Haha.. But hey, after interacting with the residents there, i find it not as boring as i thought to be.. On the contrary, i actually found it fun to interact and play games with the residents there, it even gives me a sense of satisfaction when i know i can really brighten their day...
The people in CSC are also some nice and friendly people... Given the antisocial me, i still don't know many of them, not close with any yet other than WS.. But from observation, i can tell they are very nice people... and given the nature of this CCA, this is not too unexpected...
But of course, who says only the very kind and caring people who can join this CCA??? Those who want to cultivate more 爱心 can also join wat, right??? Even WS also join le... who else can't ya??? (lolx... jkjk!!!)
Though i'll still continue to complain about meeting at an absurdly far location at such a disgusting time, and pull a super long face when i reached..., i'll still make it for every meeting and join more of the club's activities...
My only regret is that i didn't join this CCA earlier, because it's my last sem now and i've missed a good damn lot of their fun activities le...=(
Though i can't tell for sure whether this positive feeling will maintain in future, this is what i'm feeling right now...
Ok, i can't say i joined the cca because i'm caring or kind or that i've the passion to help and care for the unfortunate... In fact i joined only because i don't have a cca and just nice WS's friend is in that committee so can jio me in.. Haha.. But hey, after interacting with the residents there, i find it not as boring as i thought to be.. On the contrary, i actually found it fun to interact and play games with the residents there, it even gives me a sense of satisfaction when i know i can really brighten their day...
The people in CSC are also some nice and friendly people... Given the antisocial me, i still don't know many of them, not close with any yet other than WS.. But from observation, i can tell they are very nice people... and given the nature of this CCA, this is not too unexpected...
But of course, who says only the very kind and caring people who can join this CCA??? Those who want to cultivate more 爱心 can also join wat, right??? Even WS also join le... who else can't ya??? (lolx... jkjk!!!)
Though i'll still continue to complain about meeting at an absurdly far location at such a disgusting time, and pull a super long face when i reached..., i'll still make it for every meeting and join more of the club's activities...
My only regret is that i didn't join this CCA earlier, because it's my last sem now and i've missed a good damn lot of their fun activities le...=(
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Met R today~~
Haha... I finally met R in school today...
Actually i passed by him without noticing him...
Then he tapped on my shoulder and said Hi~!!
Hahaha...
But the sian part is... I wore specs to school today!!!
And this is like probably only the 5th time i wore in my entire NUS life~!!!
Arghh..
Actually i passed by him without noticing him...
Then he tapped on my shoulder and said Hi~!!
Hahaha...
But the sian part is... I wore specs to school today!!!
And this is like probably only the 5th time i wore in my entire NUS life~!!!
Arghh..
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Lydia Shum
Oh my god... got a shock just now...
Lydia Shum (Shen Dian Xia aka Fei Fei) has just passed away today...
Yet another familiar face gone...
She was diagnosed liver cancer about a year ago... And look what the disease had done to her...
Heart really goes out to her when i saw this photo...
shrunken to only half her usual size and in a wheelchair...
This is her when she attended the TVB 40th awards last november.
It's so heart aching to think that she must have passed away in an even smaller frame...
I think it'll take centuries to forget the bright smiles of this iconic 开心果 bah~~~
Lydia Shum (Shen Dian Xia aka Fei Fei) has just passed away today...
Yet another familiar face gone...
She was diagnosed liver cancer about a year ago... And look what the disease had done to her...
Heart really goes out to her when i saw this photo...
shrunken to only half her usual size and in a wheelchair...
This is her when she attended the TVB 40th awards last november.
It's so heart aching to think that she must have passed away in an even smaller frame...
I think it'll take centuries to forget the bright smiles of this iconic 开心果 bah~~~
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Past few days...
V-day: Nothing much to talk about, since i had lessons from 12 - 8 without any break... ;( But at least i got a gift from tl and saw a shuai ge at a booth in sci.. :)
Friday: The cranberry's set up a booth in NUS~!! And I contributed too... just by talking to Bridget beside the booth~~~ lolx...
Saturday: Went for the usual morning meeting at Bishan... ( 950 am and all the way there!!! ) faints! Yesterday not bad, finally get to interact with the residents there... Taught them how to play basketball... haha.. some of them told me a few of them goes to city harvest church on saturdays.
Today: Went swimming with my mom, think i super long never swim liao... Swim a bit will get aches in the arms... Also, had a good rest the whole of today since i hardly had much sleep the past few days...
Random complaints:
Budget... Don't exactly know how much i'll get, but i think should be at most 300 only... sighs.
People... This is when my psychology stuff comes into practice.. A few people huh.. keep saying i'm what and what... Ok, i just listen and accept (happily or not, that's another thing haha..). Then when they more or less have a similar response/result, they usually tell me it's different mah, cos they have to do what and what, have what and what commitments, or simply just they have other more important priorities.
Now i see what it means by people usually attributes success/positive behaviours to internal reasons... and failures/negative behaviours to external causes... But strangely when judging others, it's vice versa, ie attribute negative behaviours to internal reasons.
Simple eg,
You fail because you're stupid. You scored A because you are lucky.
I fail because i don't think this is important, but i scored A because i'm smart.
Likes/Passion... I don't know why many people have this stereotypical thinking that liking something/ having a passion for something means you have to excel in it.. It's true that many a time, liking something gives you the motivation to do well in it or that doing well in something makes you grow passion in it. But that also does not necessarily mean you can't like something that you are not good in right?
In fact, the stiff competition has sometimes made me lose interest in whatever interest i have in the first place...
I remember some time ago, people asked me, "what do you like to do?"
Me, "___"
Then the next thing they asked is, "Then you know about this & this??" or "are you good in this or this???"
Me,"Not very good..."
Them, "I'm even better than you, and i'm not very interested so how can you say you like this thing when you're not even good in it/ well-informed about it??"
The equation seems to be: Like something = Good at it
LEvel of Interest...is really measured by how far you pursue it...
Friday: The cranberry's set up a booth in NUS~!! And I contributed too... just by talking to Bridget beside the booth~~~ lolx...
Saturday: Went for the usual morning meeting at Bishan... ( 950 am and all the way there!!! ) faints! Yesterday not bad, finally get to interact with the residents there... Taught them how to play basketball... haha.. some of them told me a few of them goes to city harvest church on saturdays.
Today: Went swimming with my mom, think i super long never swim liao... Swim a bit will get aches in the arms... Also, had a good rest the whole of today since i hardly had much sleep the past few days...
Random complaints:
Budget... Don't exactly know how much i'll get, but i think should be at most 300 only... sighs.
People... This is when my psychology stuff comes into practice.. A few people huh.. keep saying i'm what and what... Ok, i just listen and accept (happily or not, that's another thing haha..). Then when they more or less have a similar response/result, they usually tell me it's different mah, cos they have to do what and what, have what and what commitments, or simply just they have other more important priorities.
Now i see what it means by people usually attributes success/positive behaviours to internal reasons... and failures/negative behaviours to external causes... But strangely when judging others, it's vice versa, ie attribute negative behaviours to internal reasons.
Simple eg,
You fail because you're stupid. You scored A because you are lucky.
I fail because i don't think this is important, but i scored A because i'm smart.
Likes/Passion... I don't know why many people have this stereotypical thinking that liking something/ having a passion for something means you have to excel in it.. It's true that many a time, liking something gives you the motivation to do well in it or that doing well in something makes you grow passion in it. But that also does not necessarily mean you can't like something that you are not good in right?
In fact, the stiff competition has sometimes made me lose interest in whatever interest i have in the first place...
I remember some time ago, people asked me, "what do you like to do?"
Me, "___"
Then the next thing they asked is, "Then you know about this & this??" or "are you good in this or this???"
Me,"Not very good..."
Them, "I'm even better than you, and i'm not very interested so how can you say you like this thing when you're not even good in it/ well-informed about it??"
The equation seems to be: Like something = Good at it
LEvel of Interest...is really measured by how far you pursue it...
Friday, February 01, 2008
An atom in the universe
i've always known that we are very tiny in the black world out there, but i didn't realise how tiny... to the extent of being microscopic...
I've always thought our planets, our Sun and all the moons and stars make up a galaxy...
But no... our solar system is only 1 out of the 4-5 arms in our Milky Way galaxy. And there's like 1.5 million galaxies in the observable universe~~~!!!!!!! (note: observable universe)
AND each universe contains like 400 billion (not million) stars~!!!
I'm only 1 out of the 6 billion people on this planet, which is 1 of the 8 planets circling a star out of the 400 billion in the Milky Way galaxy, which is only 1 out of the 1.5 million (discovered for now only) galaxies in the universe~!!!
I just realised my existence in the universe is so teenily tiny man....
just like an atom in relative to the universe!!!
I've always thought our planets, our Sun and all the moons and stars make up a galaxy...
But no... our solar system is only 1 out of the 4-5 arms in our Milky Way galaxy. And there's like 1.5 million galaxies in the observable universe~~~!!!!!!! (note: observable universe)
AND each universe contains like 400 billion (not million) stars~!!!
I'm only 1 out of the 6 billion people on this planet, which is 1 of the 8 planets circling a star out of the 400 billion in the Milky Way galaxy, which is only 1 out of the 1.5 million (discovered for now only) galaxies in the universe~!!!
I just realised my existence in the universe is so teenily tiny man....
just like an atom in relative to the universe!!!
Monday, January 28, 2008
RAndom voices inside me
So bored...yet i'm not supposed to be, cos the tutorials are always there for me...
I'm sick of mugger life~~And i've only just started flipping...
I wanna go swimming~~But no one seems enthu..
I need to fill up my blank uni resume~~Tis my last sem.
But i dun have passion for volunteer work... And i'm probably the only one there.
I need to find a job...But what job suits me???
Wanna join more activities... But there are always seem to be circumstances n obstacles obstructing...
I dun like to study... But i dun like to work even more..
I'm sick of mugger life~~And i've only just started flipping...
I wanna go swimming~~But no one seems enthu..
I need to fill up my blank uni resume~~Tis my last sem.
But i dun have passion for volunteer work... And i'm probably the only one there.
I need to find a job...But what job suits me???
Wanna join more activities... But there are always seem to be circumstances n obstacles obstructing...
I dun like to study... But i dun like to work even more..
Saturday, December 22, 2007
So tired and sick..
Just came back from vietnam 2 days ago...
Overall it's moderately interesting and quite fun...
Good food over there.. will blog when i hv the time next time...
But today...
Why such thing always happen to me????
I'm sO sick and tired of this already.
When will this ever stop?
I really hate everything that caused what happened today...
I hate God, Heaven, Fate, that person and most of all...
I hate ME..
so tired and sick today...
Overall it's moderately interesting and quite fun...
Good food over there.. will blog when i hv the time next time...
But today...
Why such thing always happen to me????
I'm sO sick and tired of this already.
When will this ever stop?
I really hate everything that caused what happened today...
I hate God, Heaven, Fate, that person and most of all...
I hate ME..
so tired and sick today...
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Pissed...
I'm pissed, by some people...
who frequently remind me of my weaknesses again and again...
who don't think of others' feelings when they talk...
who never consider the no. of other people around and the volume of their voice before they talk...
who make me think twice of confiding in them my problems/weaknesses/secrets in future...
who never consider that all these while, i have never commented or rather, chose not to comment on their weaknesses before...
who make me think twice of controlling my mouth again...
Yes, i am
PISSED!
So the moral of the story is never to show too much of your weaknesses to others, especially one who is inconsiderate, insensitive, loud-mouthed, and is so blunt with his/her words...
At least i'm considerate enough to not put any names...
Maybe i've been too mellow for too long...
who frequently remind me of my weaknesses again and again...
who don't think of others' feelings when they talk...
who never consider the no. of other people around and the volume of their voice before they talk...
who make me think twice of confiding in them my problems/weaknesses/secrets in future...
who never consider that all these while, i have never commented or rather, chose not to comment on their weaknesses before...
who make me think twice of controlling my mouth again...
Yes, i am
PISSED!
So the moral of the story is never to show too much of your weaknesses to others, especially one who is inconsiderate, insensitive, loud-mouthed, and is so blunt with his/her words...
At least i'm considerate enough to not put any names...
Maybe i've been too mellow for too long...
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Good guys no more~
I changed my mind...
In terms of relationship, 男的没有一个是好东西 one...
Always thought those 斯文 and not so good looking ones would stay faithful...
斯文 - because they give me the impression that they are goody goody, so won't dare to betray their other one.
Not-so-good-looking - because generally these guys have less female species hanging around them, so there's lesser chance of them being attached, and if they were, there's a lower chance of them straying..
But i'm wrong...
I just realised that no matter how faithful the guy may seem to be, no matter how goody goody he looks, once he's constantly being surrounded by a group of girls (that doesn't include his girlfriend), he would stray~~ if there's any girl in that group who is better than his girlfriend.
It sucks.
Then what about the poor girlfriend?
The poor girlfriend who treats him so well all the while???
The poor girlfriend who trusted in him enough to let him be in the company of so many girls???
The same poor girlfriend who probably met so many other better guys but still chose to reject them because of him???
So is that guy staying in that relationship just because he haven't found a better one? If he found a better one, he would just changed without hesitation???
What happened, then to the mutual trust they should have? More so, the trust that the girlfriend had placed upon him??
What happened to the past happy memories that they have? Should all of them come to naught just because he met someone better, leaving the poor girlfriend clinging on to them Alone???
It's pretty scary how even the most 乖 looking ones behave like that... Then much less the rest...
It's even more scary when in the relationship the guy had given so many promises and he looked like the kind who would follow through his promises; and the girl had trusted and believed in him.
And yet, such a thing still happens.
All promises broken, all trusts betrayed, and beliefs being proven false. Things suddenly gets ugly now.
Then it makes me wonder, is it inevitable that guys would break all promises when they found a better girl?
And since 一山还比一山高, it's never possible to win in the endless competition...
So it's either you keep improving yourself to compete, or you constantly ward off those pretty pests to prevent the relationship from ending?? Isn't it so tiring???
Sighs...
Suddenly relationships don't seemed that fun anymore liao.
Because good guys are rare or probably don't exist in this world already...
So if you had a boyfriend, never let them get too close to other girls, especially those you don't know...
Or maybe better still... Know all their female friends~!!
Haha...
In terms of relationship, 男的没有一个是好东西 one...
Always thought those 斯文 and not so good looking ones would stay faithful...
斯文 - because they give me the impression that they are goody goody, so won't dare to betray their other one.
Not-so-good-looking - because generally these guys have less female species hanging around them, so there's lesser chance of them being attached, and if they were, there's a lower chance of them straying..
But i'm wrong...
I just realised that no matter how faithful the guy may seem to be, no matter how goody goody he looks, once he's constantly being surrounded by a group of girls (that doesn't include his girlfriend), he would stray~~ if there's any girl in that group who is better than his girlfriend.
It sucks.
Then what about the poor girlfriend?
The poor girlfriend who treats him so well all the while???
The poor girlfriend who trusted in him enough to let him be in the company of so many girls???
The same poor girlfriend who probably met so many other better guys but still chose to reject them because of him???
So is that guy staying in that relationship just because he haven't found a better one? If he found a better one, he would just changed without hesitation???
What happened, then to the mutual trust they should have? More so, the trust that the girlfriend had placed upon him??
What happened to the past happy memories that they have? Should all of them come to naught just because he met someone better, leaving the poor girlfriend clinging on to them Alone???
It's pretty scary how even the most 乖 looking ones behave like that... Then much less the rest...
It's even more scary when in the relationship the guy had given so many promises and he looked like the kind who would follow through his promises; and the girl had trusted and believed in him.
And yet, such a thing still happens.
All promises broken, all trusts betrayed, and beliefs being proven false. Things suddenly gets ugly now.
Then it makes me wonder, is it inevitable that guys would break all promises when they found a better girl?
And since 一山还比一山高, it's never possible to win in the endless competition...
So it's either you keep improving yourself to compete, or you constantly ward off those pretty pests to prevent the relationship from ending?? Isn't it so tiring???
Sighs...
Suddenly relationships don't seemed that fun anymore liao.
Because good guys are rare or probably don't exist in this world already...
So if you had a boyfriend, never let them get too close to other girls, especially those you don't know...
Or maybe better still... Know all their female friends~!!
Haha...
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Male rape.. damn all rapists!!
Suddenly have this urge to blog about our project topic after watching the video on male rape...
Lately we're doing this project on the topic of male rape..
Then realised that there are so many sick people out there sia~
I thought raping girls are pervertic enough liao but to think that there are guy perverts who actually raped guys too!!!
Guys rape guys, imagine that!! And these rapists are not even gays!!! Wa lao!!
Before i research on this project, i never knew that guys can rape guys one lor...or at least not that prevalent. But i realised that there are actually quite a lot of male victims suffering out there.. in fact, 1 in 8 rape cases are males~!!! Especially those male child victims and those prisoners... Poor thing sia... Looks like it's an even blacker world out there than i thought...
Yet, many of the male rape victims chose to suffer in silence... Because in our current society, males are seen and therefore pressured to be strong and infallible. So most people would think that rape wouldn't have happened to males if they hadn't allowed it. Therefore, when a male gets raped, he would actually feel more humiliated than a female victim due to a male's ego thingy, social expectations and pressure... Imagine "weakling" and "not a man" labels being pasted on you... no wonder male rape cases were so underreported.
There was this case in the video, that this boy was raped by this stranger. During the whole process, he was so scared and stiffened that he couldn't defend himself. And he hated himself for that. But what made him hate himself even more is that he actually enjoyed it.
Most people, including even the victim himself, would think he must be a willing party since his body responded during the process. After all, "how can you consider yourself unwilling if you actually were aroused? And were enjoying it too?" ??
Male victims usually felt that they had lost their manhood, their pride, their self-esteem.. most of them even doubted and questioned their sexual preference after that (like "am i gay?"). Even worse, they think that this is their fault, fault for reacting to such violation.
This is the way rapists humiliate their victims, make them feel guilty of their own responses, and thus were more emboldened to continue such inhumane acts since 99% of the time victims would not report. That's why so many male cases were not reported and how so many of these bastard rapists managed to get off scot-free.
However, we have to understand that sometimes our body would respond beyond our control, as in, our body can still respond to sexual stimulation even if we don't consent to it. Being aroused is not equals allowing consent, and having penetration without consent equals rape.
Perhaps, it's the society's stigmatic perception of the infallible male that greatly contributes to this sad phenomenon, that causes male rape victims to suffer in silence. But males are not made of rock after all.. like the female species, they are human beings too and they do have feelings as well~ Females are not the only species who can suffer from rape, males do too, and may even suffer a greater trauma at that.
Sighs... And i thought being a guy would be much better than a girl, in fact i so wished that my next life would be born a guy. But now i realised that being a guy is no easy job too. Ok... guess i'll try to be nicer to guys from now on...
Lately we're doing this project on the topic of male rape..
Then realised that there are so many sick people out there sia~
I thought raping girls are pervertic enough liao but to think that there are guy perverts who actually raped guys too!!!
Guys rape guys, imagine that!! And these rapists are not even gays!!! Wa lao!!
Before i research on this project, i never knew that guys can rape guys one lor...or at least not that prevalent. But i realised that there are actually quite a lot of male victims suffering out there.. in fact, 1 in 8 rape cases are males~!!! Especially those male child victims and those prisoners... Poor thing sia... Looks like it's an even blacker world out there than i thought...
Yet, many of the male rape victims chose to suffer in silence... Because in our current society, males are seen and therefore pressured to be strong and infallible. So most people would think that rape wouldn't have happened to males if they hadn't allowed it. Therefore, when a male gets raped, he would actually feel more humiliated than a female victim due to a male's ego thingy, social expectations and pressure... Imagine "weakling" and "not a man" labels being pasted on you... no wonder male rape cases were so underreported.
There was this case in the video, that this boy was raped by this stranger. During the whole process, he was so scared and stiffened that he couldn't defend himself. And he hated himself for that. But what made him hate himself even more is that he actually enjoyed it.
Most people, including even the victim himself, would think he must be a willing party since his body responded during the process. After all, "how can you consider yourself unwilling if you actually were aroused? And were enjoying it too?" ??
Male victims usually felt that they had lost their manhood, their pride, their self-esteem.. most of them even doubted and questioned their sexual preference after that (like "am i gay?"). Even worse, they think that this is their fault, fault for reacting to such violation.
This is the way rapists humiliate their victims, make them feel guilty of their own responses, and thus were more emboldened to continue such inhumane acts since 99% of the time victims would not report. That's why so many male cases were not reported and how so many of these bastard rapists managed to get off scot-free.
However, we have to understand that sometimes our body would respond beyond our control, as in, our body can still respond to sexual stimulation even if we don't consent to it. Being aroused is not equals allowing consent, and having penetration without consent equals rape.
Perhaps, it's the society's stigmatic perception of the infallible male that greatly contributes to this sad phenomenon, that causes male rape victims to suffer in silence. But males are not made of rock after all.. like the female species, they are human beings too and they do have feelings as well~ Females are not the only species who can suffer from rape, males do too, and may even suffer a greater trauma at that.
Sighs... And i thought being a guy would be much better than a girl, in fact i so wished that my next life would be born a guy. But now i realised that being a guy is no easy job too. Ok... guess i'll try to be nicer to guys from now on...
Monday, October 22, 2007
Kbox
Last thursday, went to kbox with YT, JQ and YB (in order of earliest to latest).
It was kind of impromptu, cos i only knew about it that evening.
Just happens that i'm also freeand mainly because the special discount rate that day was irresistable, so just go lor...
HAha...
As usual, somebody late for 1 hour.
Anyway, wanna share with you all one huge discovery~~
There are NEW ENGLISH SONGS in KBOX NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeap, your eyes aren't playing tricks on you~
After so many years of torture with only english oldies and cheapskate MTVs (you know, the typical corny MTVs with girls in bikinis running in parks and beaches kind..), they finally have New English Original MTVs!!!!!!!!!
Like the latest Big Girls Don't Cry, Wait For You, Makes Me Wonder and so on~~~
Lolx... Ok, think i can finally go practise those english songs liao~
Muahhahhahaha....
Quite happy.. Cos that day we were not chased off... If not for our last bus, we would have stayed even longer~ lolx...
Plus, JQ treated all of us that night!!!! So generous sia~!!! Thanks JQ!!
LAter when going home, then i realised that JQ lives in Bukit BAtok too~!!
And he takes the same buses as me to school~
What's more he's also from Swiss Cottage!!!!!!!!!!
But i've never seen him before all these while~
Lolx...
Life's just strange... You can live so near but never see each other before, yet you can meet a schoolmate in a foreign country.. In fact, 6-7 years ago when i was travelling with my family in Taiwan, YJ saw me in Xi Men Ding during his family trip there too lar~~~ When Wei told me that, i'm like huh?!?!?!?!!? So Bloody Qiao sia~ But too bad i have no interest in him, otherwise i would have thought it's like those typical korean dramas sia~ lolx... Why don't let me meet Jiro/Edison/any of my crushes instead?!?!?!?! (Crushes refering to current ones ok, not the past ones... my eyesight improved liao hor.. the past are just historical nightmares k...)
Sighs....
Anyway, just took a bath just now.. and realise my Mickey Mouse towel is tattered and torn liao~~~ full of holes now~ This good old Mickey Mouse towel has been with me for the past 7-8 years liao... and i really can't bear to bring it to the Land of Rubbish... Sighs...
Ok enough sighing liaoz, going to watch Bu Yi Shen Xiang now~
Haha...
Bye for now~~
10:16pm:
Oh yar, during kbox i also finally found out the title of my favourite Moulin Rouge song~ Your Song by Elton John..
One more thing.. i forgot to add.. i saw Kbox also got Josh Groban's Broken Vow wor~~
Ha... Enjoy!!
It was kind of impromptu, cos i only knew about it that evening.
Just happens that i'm also free
HAha...
As usual, somebody late for 1 hour.
Anyway, wanna share with you all one huge discovery~~
There are NEW ENGLISH SONGS in KBOX NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeap, your eyes aren't playing tricks on you~
After so many years of torture with only english oldies and cheapskate MTVs (you know, the typical corny MTVs with girls in bikinis running in parks and beaches kind..), they finally have New English Original MTVs!!!!!!!!!
Like the latest Big Girls Don't Cry, Wait For You, Makes Me Wonder and so on~~~
Lolx... Ok, think i can finally go practise those english songs liao~
Muahhahhahaha....
Quite happy.. Cos that day we were not chased off... If not for our last bus, we would have stayed even longer~ lolx...
Plus, JQ treated all of us that night!!!! So generous sia~!!! Thanks JQ!!
LAter when going home, then i realised that JQ lives in Bukit BAtok too~!!
And he takes the same buses as me to school~
What's more he's also from Swiss Cottage!!!!!!!!!!
But i've never seen him before all these while~
Lolx...
Life's just strange... You can live so near but never see each other before, yet you can meet a schoolmate in a foreign country.. In fact, 6-7 years ago when i was travelling with my family in Taiwan, YJ saw me in Xi Men Ding during his family trip there too lar~~~ When Wei told me that, i'm like huh?!?!?!?!!? So Bloody Qiao sia~ But too bad i have no interest in him, otherwise i would have thought it's like those typical korean dramas sia~ lolx... Why don't let me meet Jiro/Edison/any of my crushes instead?!?!?!?! (Crushes refering to current ones ok, not the past ones... my eyesight improved liao hor.. the past are just historical nightmares k...)
Sighs....
Anyway, just took a bath just now.. and realise my Mickey Mouse towel is tattered and torn liao~~~ full of holes now~ This good old Mickey Mouse towel has been with me for the past 7-8 years liao... and i really can't bear to bring it to the Land of Rubbish... Sighs...
Ok enough sighing liaoz, going to watch Bu Yi Shen Xiang now~
Haha...
Bye for now~~
10:16pm:
Oh yar, during kbox i also finally found out the title of my favourite Moulin Rouge song~ Your Song by Elton John..
One more thing.. i forgot to add.. i saw Kbox also got Josh Groban's Broken Vow wor~~
Ha... Enjoy!!
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