I think...

I think...
Sometimes people are mirrors of yourself..
They reflect how you treat them, how you behave towards them..

People will be nice to you if you are nice to them..
People will share secrets with you if you share with them too..
People will also talk bad about you if you talk bad about them..

So if you notice people around you are not treating you as well as you expect, perhaps you should think of how you treat them in the first place.



But then sometimes, when you are too nice, people will think that you are easy to bully. Perhaps they see niceness as a form of "weakness"... as bullying is often the case of the strong against the weak.

It's even worse when being nice isn't your only "weakness".
When you have quite a number of weaknesses and the stronger party knows about it, these weaknesses will always be handy for the Strong to use it against the Weak if they ever get into an argument.

It's made worse even further, when the Strong has few or no weaknesses that the Weak can use to counter.



At the end an argument, it only goes to confirm that the Weak is weak, and the Strong is strong.

The Weak
feels helpless, tired and hopeless
lose their confidence and morales
gets even weaker

The Strong
feels more assured of themselves
gains confidence
gets stronger



But is there such a great difference between the Strong and the Weak in the first place? Or is it the way they portray themselves that makes us perceive so? Everyone would have strengths and weaknesses, don't they? Perhaps the only difference is that the Strong knows how to emphasize their strengths and how to not reveal their weaknesses, while the Weak is one who is less cautious in hiding their weaknesses or perhaps is too honest in revealing their weaknesses?

So in order not to be Weak, we have to constantly improve ourselves as well as learning how to cover up all our weaknesses? Isn't it tiring to be like the Strong?





I think...
I'm too sensitive to how others think of me and would be very affected if someone criticises me or behave in a negative way towards me... Too sensitive that i would think of the issue for days, weeks, or even months... Would get so emotional too... that it would affect my entire mood..

I would then try to change my behaviours in order to compromise... To stop their critcisms as well as their negative attitudes.

But i realise... in the process of constant changing, i'm starting to lose myself...
And i came to realise that it's totally not worth it when the other party don't even realise i'm that affected, or they knew it but they didn't really care... I probably wouldn't be so affected if they weren't Friends... or so i thought...

Friends... i thought, after knowing you for some time... would know what makes you unhappy.. Especially when you have already shown your unhappiness for upteen times... every single time after the topic is broached. But i think either they don't get it, or it doesn't matter to them... Often at the end of the day, it's only you who got affected...

Hitting you several times and then subsequently telling you that that hit wasn't meant to hurt you... What is their aim at the end of the day? To prove that they are always right and you are always wrong?? It's even more absurd especially when the topic is about you and yourself!

Guilty unless proven innocent...




I wish... to lesion part of my amygdala sometimes...