I changed my mind...
In terms of relationship, 男的没有一个是好东西 one...
Always thought those 斯文 and not so good looking ones would stay faithful...
斯文 - because they give me the impression that they are goody goody, so won't dare to betray their other one.
Not-so-good-looking - because generally these guys have less female species hanging around them, so there's lesser chance of them being attached, and if they were, there's a lower chance of them straying..
But i'm wrong...
I just realised that no matter how faithful the guy may seem to be, no matter how goody goody he looks, once he's constantly being surrounded by a group of girls (that doesn't include his girlfriend), he would stray~~ if there's any girl in that group who is better than his girlfriend.
It sucks.
Then what about the poor girlfriend?
The poor girlfriend who treats him so well all the while???
The poor girlfriend who trusted in him enough to let him be in the company of so many girls???
The same poor girlfriend who probably met so many other better guys but still chose to reject them because of him???
So is that guy staying in that relationship just because he haven't found a better one? If he found a better one, he would just changed without hesitation???
What happened, then to the mutual trust they should have? More so, the trust that the girlfriend had placed upon him??
What happened to the past happy memories that they have? Should all of them come to naught just because he met someone better, leaving the poor girlfriend clinging on to them Alone???
It's pretty scary how even the most 乖 looking ones behave like that... Then much less the rest...
It's even more scary when in the relationship the guy had given so many promises and he looked like the kind who would follow through his promises; and the girl had trusted and believed in him.
And yet, such a thing still happens.
All promises broken, all trusts betrayed, and beliefs being proven false. Things suddenly gets ugly now.
Then it makes me wonder, is it inevitable that guys would break all promises when they found a better girl?
And since 一山还比一山高, it's never possible to win in the endless competition...
So it's either you keep improving yourself to compete, or you constantly ward off those pretty pests to prevent the relationship from ending?? Isn't it so tiring???
Sighs...
Suddenly relationships don't seemed that fun anymore liao.
Because good guys are rare or probably don't exist in this world already...
So if you had a boyfriend, never let them get too close to other girls, especially those you don't know...
Or maybe better still... Know all their female friends~!!
Haha...
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8 comments:
Ah... You are making me worried...
Sigh...
The best one can do, as a female...
Is to be strong, and stay strong...
Cos if you are strong within and independent, you can stand any betrayers...
Because you are depending on yourself, and no one...
hmmm.. being strong n independent...
How does that stand any betrayers? Betrayers as in your other one?
As in he betrayed your trust and the relationship liao?
Yeah, i agree that being strong and independent can help you tide over the break up but how does that prevent your relationship from going off track? how does that prevent your other one from betraying your trust?
And prevention better than cure right...
And how can you depend on yourself and no one in a relationship? Surely got certain degree of dependence de rite? Hv to depend on him to take care of you, have to depend on him to help you when you r in great trouble, hv to depend on him to not betray your trust...and so on.
Cos if not, then what for you have this relationship??
Sighs.. Din noe it takes so much to have a long term relationship..
You misunderstand me...
When I mean strong and independent, I mean mentally and emotionally...
So that when he betrays you, you can stand all the heartbreaks, the broken paradise, and anything that affects your well-being and mental state...
So that you won't be broken...
(There are many cases of people being so mentally and emotionally unstable when their relationship ends...
That they commit suicide, or withdraw into their shell...)
(Please don't ask me to quote, read the bloody newspaper or articles and research online...)
I never said anything about preventing the relationship from going off track...
Or preventing your other one from betraying your trust...
Cos you can never control such things...
But you can control yourself...
Prevention better than cure, but screw prevention!!!
How can you prevent such things!!!
You can never control a person, so try as you might, to prevent such an outcome, it is not 100% fool-proof...
Being independent, or depending on yourself...
Does Not equals to being separated in a relationship, or whatever you are trying to say...
Besides, I am independent before I have a relationship...
So why must it changed when I enter into one??
Why I can't I depend on myself??
I can take care of myself...
I can help myself when I am in trouble...
I can trust him not to betray me, but doesn't meant I DEPEND on him not to betray me...
Besides, for the above, why can't my friends/ family members also help to take care of me??
Why can't they also help me when I am in trouble??
Why must it always be the other half??
Then what are the other people (friends and family) in my life for??
Of course, being in a relationship, it is common and right for both parties to help each other...
If you really care about someone, you will try your best to help or support each other...
But it does not mean you have to DEPEND on it...
And of course, there are many reasons for having a relationship...
One of them could be dependency like what you said...
(But doesn't mean everything you have to depend on the other half...)
But that alone shouldn't be the only factor...
What about companionship???
What about having someone to love and care about??
What about having someone to share your happy and sad moments with???
That is NOT DEPENDING...
It is SHARING your life...
Actually, it does not take so much to have along term relationship...
You just have to stop wishing for perfection...
Well.. actually my post is talking about during a relationship, how come such a thing would happen...and what we can do to prevent or at least reduce the chances of such a case happening again...
Then you commented,
"The best one can do, as a female...
Is to be strong, and stay strong..."
so i thought you are suggesting some ways to do so.. but actually you were commenting about how one can cope after the relationship has ended huh...
Then i thought why the best one can do should only be to recover from the breakup? isn't there anything we can do prevent ok, reduce the chances of a relationship from ending, in similar cases like this?
So i mentioned that being strong and independent can mainly help after the relationship has ended, and i don't see how can that help a lot during the relationship...
When i mentioned dependent, i did said certain degree of dependency, not total.. and since i'm focusing on BGR, i only focused on talking about the other party and din mention others.
so of cos i'm not saying u have to totally depend on your other party and only him, i'm jus saying it's not possible to depend on no one and only yourself in the course of a relationship, cos in the first place you need to depend on the other party to keep the relationship going. (Takes two hands to clap)
And suggesting ways to keep the same thing from inevitably happening isn't a case of wishing for perfection..
So basically i think we're just talking about different things altogether..
Hah.. ya, but i agree that r/s is also about companionship and those other stuff... and maybe long term r/s may not take as much effort as i portrayed to be.. after all if it takes so much effort, not many ppl would wanna go into one le rite.. ha..
It's juz that i'm still quite saddened by the fact that sometimes what you reap is not what you sow. =S
yo summergal.. it's monday 8.34 a.m.. having test later at 9 for me..jus wanting to drop in to check out your blog when i saw your new posts..
Haiz.. why all the sudden you feel so depressed that you have to talk about this issue? Well in any case, i think averii has a good point.. or points. You cannot control matters of the heart. And i don't think you should view a relationship as a transaction. "He-must-definitely-be-by-my-side-and-whole-heartedly-love-me" kind of logic won't work out. Seriously, if he bounces off wth some gal then suan liao lor.. he chose to break the trust between you and him and that kinda guy is not worth your affection.
Don't brood too much about these things.. not good for your mental.. why not choose to focus on the good aspects of a relationship? Okie.. gtg prepare for my test liao. Good luck and be strong!
Eh, because regularly seen a few cases of guys leaving their gfs for a better one. But ok, maybe they look like the playboy kind, so not too unexpected.
But recently even the more promising looking ones oso do that.
And of cos i know relationship also got good and positive aspects lar...
But naturally you would count on your relationship to last till you grow old what.. Unless you are looking for short term ones, then no need to say le la..
I'm only just sian now why even the most predicted-to-be-able-to-last-forever couple can also break up lor...
Then of course you can argue that nothing can be predicted like that..
But my point is, you can never be really certain whether a guy can remain faithful to you for long le.. And that is scary to me.
So.. i've thought of another resolution!! Go for short term relationships!! Don't expect for long term ones~ Then wun be so heartbroken even if break le~
Why can't being strong and independent help during a relationship??
You think a guy likes to have a girl being all weak and feeble...
And hanging onto his arm all day long like a leech??
Always calling him...
Cannot do or decide anything without him...
Always have to be by his side...
Super insecure...
Everything also need the guy to do for her, even the little stuff...
Etc...
Okie, it sounds a bit extreme... But you get what I mean right??
So being strong and independent does help a lot in a relationship...
Maybe in the relationship, you are depending on each other, but to a small extent only...
I kinda know what you mean...
But still, it isn't exactly correct to say that "you need to depend on the other party to keep the relationship going"...
So does it mean that you depend/rely solely on him only??
What about yourself??
You no need to depend on yourself to contribute??
Hence I prefer to use the word "sharing"...
Sharing the responsibility to keep the relationship going...
Well... From the way you write, and how you express just gives me this feeling like you are "wishing for perfection"...
It's like you are expecting relationships to be all wonderful and sweet, and expect them to last forever...
(That's what I feel what you are feeling lar...)
Sure, most of us would want it to be like this...
It is the most ideal situation...
But unfortunately, not all relationships could be like this...
People have different personality and way of thinking from each other...
And they change...
Some may not like to have a long term relationship...
Some may feel they are too young to commit...
Some may feel that they are not suitable to each other...
Some are just jerks...
Some may be afraid of commitment...
Some just simply change as time passed and experiences starts to differ...
Sometimes, some relationships just cannot remain long term...
But it is sad that sometimes, no matter how much effort you put into...
They are are not reciprocated...
That is just how some things are like...
P/s:
Wah liao, how can you tell whether or not someone is a playboy kind just solely based on the looks...
Tsk tsk... Don't judge a book by its cover...
P/P/s:
Yah, sometimes it is scary when you are about to enter into a relationship...
But all relationships will involve risks...
Which is why I say being strong and independent is very very important!!!
Because if you are not strong and independent, then you don't have the courage to take the risk and go into a relationship, then you won't go into a relationship in the first place, then since it is not a relationship, you can say that not being strong and independent does not help during a relationship because you aren't even in one, hence being strong and independent helps during the relationship!!!
.
.
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(-___-;)
Okie, ignore the previous paragraph, I must be studying too much equations...
Exams are coming!!!
Have fun mugging!!!
Yeah.. i get what you mean...
Ha.. why not? Actually i think that looks can tell a lot about a person's character... So playboy guys usually have this aura one.. lolx..
Bleah... hate mugging!!!
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